Dark Visions: Schism
by foggynite
Summary: "*The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us.*" Gabriel makes a decision. Slightly slashy goodness.


TITLE: Schism  
  
AUTHOR: foggynite  
  
E-MAIL: foggynite@hotmail.com  
  
SITE: http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/hooper/125  
  
RATING: R  
  
STATUS: complete  
  
PAIRING: some Rob+Gabriel vibe  
  
NOTES: Inspired by the song "Schism" by Tool, which I have no rights  
  
to whatsoever. "*.*" denote italics.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Hazy smoke swirled up into the darkness of the room, twisting and  
  
writhing as it wound around the sharp blades of the ceiling fan. The  
  
particles dispersed slowly, as languid as the room's sole occupant.  
  
Music throbbed quietly in the background, the same song moaning with  
  
fury for hours while Gabriel drunk himself into a stupor.  
  
  
  
He had finally done it.  
  
  
  
Cigarette dangling from nerveless fingers, he sprawled across the  
  
worn sofa with his neck bonelessly hanging over the edge. He stared  
  
with single intensity out the open window, unseeing, uncaring. His  
  
thoughts hurt right now like a physical pain. The night breeze  
  
lifted the room's oppressing heat for fleeting moments, but  
  
inevitably the sweltering blanket settled back over him.  
  
  
  
Maybe he had gone too far.  
  
  
  
Music was playing, but there was silence in his head and he couldn't  
  
decide if he liked it or not. He had wished for privacy and peace  
  
and solitude, yet now. . . It was cold.  
  
  
  
Shifting restlessly, he ashed his cigarette into the empty whisky  
  
bottle standing guard next to his head. His temples were pounding in  
  
time with his heart and his vision was getting blurry as he examined  
  
his free hand. The scrapes on his knuckles were scabbing over and  
  
one finger was a blue-red, swollen and bruised like a rotten plum.  
  
He couldn't feel it anyway.  
  
  
  
The solid thunk of his deadbolt turning over vaguely registered, but  
  
the sudden awareness in his mind let him know Rob and Lewis were  
  
coming in.  
  
  
  
"Gabriel?" Golden Boy barked as soon as Lewis had unlocked the door.  
  
Had they knocked? He couldn't recall. Damn rude if they didn't.  
  
  
  
"God." A disgusted snort escaped Kessler as he walked around to the  
  
front of the couch, twisting his perfect features into an  
  
unattractive scowl. The fact that Rob could look unattractive made  
  
him feel happier, even as he could feel the anger like a punch in the  
  
gut.  
  
  
  
"Yes?"  
  
  
  
The mind link was a mess. He couldn't stop the flow of impressions  
  
from Lewis. They swirled past him, plastering against his spiky  
  
defenses, searching out crevasses to leak in through. The thoughts  
  
picked at him, battered him, the dented wall, the smell of  
  
cigarettes, thoughts of a tearful Kait, Rob's thunderous expression  
  
on the hour long drive, Anna calling at eleven p. m. demanding he get  
  
out of bed and come over. Gabriel pushed each away, not wanting to  
  
see anymore. Rob held a tighter rein on his thoughts, though,  
  
erecting his own barriers filled with vengeance and anger.  
  
  
  
"What the hell's wrong with you?" Golden Boy was cursing. Gabriel  
  
supposed he must have done something truly terrible to get such a  
  
filthy word past untainted lips.  
  
  
  
Oh wait, he had.  
  
  
  
"Get out."  
  
  
  
His attempt to gracefully swing his legs around was offset by the  
  
rush of blood to his head and the lit cigarette in his hand. After  
  
his vision returned, he realized he had crushed the filter into his  
  
palm. The ember was snuffed, but now an ugly brown spot marred his  
  
lifeline. He stared down at his open hand blankly for a moment, then  
  
shrugged.  
  
  
  
"Gabriel!" Rob snapped, and apparently not for the first time from  
  
the look of it. Lewis was hanging in the background, like he always  
  
did whenever Gabriel and Rob squared off. How cute.  
  
  
  
"What, Kessler? Wanna get in a few kicks while you're still here?"  
  
Taunting was easy. Taunting was habit he fell into that would either  
  
make Rob either take a swing at him or leave, secure in his  
  
superiority.  
  
  
  
"What I want is to know why Kaitlyn showed up at Anna's doorstep in  
  
tears and near hysterics, with some story about how you went into a  
  
drunken rage and attacked her." He could see the veins in Golden  
  
Boy's neck standing out. The white knuckles as he ground his fists  
  
into his thighs. Maybe today would be the day he pushed too far.  
  
  
  
"Ask her."  
  
  
  
Suddenly he wanted to keep applying pressure until everything around  
  
him broke into a thousand pieces. Four years of love and security  
  
and belonging all gone. Ripped away with the flash of one thought,  
  
one perfect crystal image that shattered his entire perception of  
  
her, of himself, of his happy fucking world. The urge to lash out at  
  
his friends was almost reflexive-- let himself pull away so he could  
  
lick his wounds in peace.  
  
  
  
"I think he's still drunk. . ." Lewis offered hesitantly from behind  
  
the couch.  
  
  
  
"I noticed."  
  
  
  
Gabriel met those condescending eyes full on. They were supposed to  
  
be friends.  
  
  
  
With another disgusted snort, Rob stalked over to the stereo and hit  
  
the power button with a vicious jab. He could hear Lewis shift  
  
nervously  
  
  
  
"Look, Gabriel, we just want to know what happened. . ." Lewis was  
  
talking to him like he would a scared animal. Well, Gabriel Wolfe  
  
would not be frightened or intimidated or patronized. Not anymore.  
  
  
  
"Fuck off." He tossed the crushed cigarette butt in Rob's general  
  
direction, the filter weightless as it left his hand in a surreal  
  
moment where he was there, but never anymore, and he just wanted to  
  
curl in on himself. Staring at the coffee table, clenching his jaw  
  
reflexively, he could feel the anger roiling in his heart. Clouding  
  
over the spicy red of fury, though, was a crushing black despair.  
  
  
  
Unsteadily, he pulled himself to his feet using the arm of the couch  
  
and glared at Rob, not quite meeting his eyes. "Last time, Golden  
  
Boy. Get. Out."  
  
  
  
He turned to leave, but Rob angrily wrenched his arm behind him,  
  
forcing him to brace his shins against the front of the couch.  
  
Giving a heartfelt curse, Lewis started to move across the room, but  
  
Kessler waved him off sharply.  
  
  
  
"No." At the furious tone, Lewis backed away again.  
  
  
  
"Get the fuck off--" Pressure on the inside of his elbow made  
  
Gabriel hiss in pain before he could catch himself.  
  
  
  
"I'm tired of the bullshit, Gabriel. Now I want the truth, because I  
  
have never seen Kaitlyn cry in all the years we've known each other.  
  
Not once, Gabe." His breath stirred the fine hairs on Gabriel's  
  
temple. "I want to know why the hell you decided to attack her. I  
  
thought you loved her, or maybe Iris wasn't an accident like you told  
  
us? You have a thing for killing your girlfriends?"  
  
  
  
At that, Gabriel swung backwards, not caring if he popped a joint or  
  
tore his ligaments. *How dare he?* Their proximity was  
  
overwhelming, though, and the web fluttered against his mind like a  
  
frantic bird seeking release. He needed to get out of here, away  
  
from people and thoughts and memories.  
  
  
  
"Why don't you go ask her?" Gabriel was shouting now, still angrily  
  
attempting to punch at his friend but too drunk to truly connect with  
  
accuracy. "If I'm so much of a fucking monster, ask her--"  
  
  
  
The pain roared up inside him, all the hurt he had been trying to  
  
forget for hours, and he found himself looking up again through  
  
someone else's eyes. Kaitlyn's eyes as she laughed at a young man  
  
with close cropped brown hair and perfectly pressed business suit at  
  
a table in a fancy restaurant, at the pier as they walked hand in  
  
hand, at a movie, a concert, a well furnished apartment so different  
  
from Gabriel's. Saw through her eyes as the young man stripped and  
  
laid her back gently. As they--  
  
  
  
"Enough!" Rob's voice was in his ear and his mind, ragged and  
  
gasping. Lewis was cursing again.  
  
  
  
"Shitshitshit- Rob, he just pulled us in with him. Those were  
  
memories, and he pulled us in like we were there-- I couldn't feel  
  
anything else--"  
  
  
  
"Just calm down. Everyone." His anger forgotten in the shock of the  
  
moment, Rob fumbled to pull his own mental shields back up. The rush  
  
of thoughts still came, though, and Gabriel collapsed to his knees,  
  
dragging Rob down with him, and now sat shivering as though it were  
  
the iciest winter instead of a hot summer night. Easing his bruising  
  
grip on Gabriel's arms, Rob let his friend rest against his chest.  
  
  
  
"Gabriel?" Ever so soft in the silence, gentle, empathizing,  
  
concerned.  
  
  
  
After a moment, he pulled away from Rob's loose embrace and struggled  
  
to his feet. The alcohol made his tongue looser than it should have  
  
been.  
  
  
  
"Nobody wants to live with a telepath." He tried to get around the  
  
couch, but he stumbled and almost fell again, except Rob was there at  
  
his elbow holding him up. Wrenching his arm free, he turned rapidly,  
  
again saved by Rob's steady hand. He slapped it away.  
  
  
  
"What? Suddenly you're not so angry any more? You can think the  
  
worst of me, but not her?" The words were accusing, yet without any  
  
real venom. His tone was more resigned than anything.  
  
  
  
"Look, getting mad hasn't gotten us anywhere so far," Rob's voice was  
  
in med student mode, trying to soothe and calm. He studied his face  
  
intently. "Kaitlyn showed up at Anna's nearly ten hours ago and you  
  
were drunk before then. How much have you had to drink?"  
  
  
  
"The fuck should I know?" Gabriel spat, then glared again. "Oh, no,  
  
Golden Boy. I'm not some fucking patient for you to fix." He  
  
managed to get as far as the kitchen this time, with Lewis rapidly  
  
moving at the murderous glint in his red-rimmed eyes.  
  
  
  
The glass bottles on the fridge door rattled loudly as he swung it  
  
open. The yellow light highlighted the sharp angles of his face as  
  
he rummaged through the contents.  
  
  
  
*Kaitlyn said he's been drinking more often than not the past few  
  
weeks. Could you run to the 7-Eleven we passed and get two bottles  
  
of Gatorade?* Rob meant for only Lewis to hear their conversation,  
  
but Gabriel could hear them as clear as though they were shouting in  
  
his ear. Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the cool  
  
metal of the freezer door, he tried to will it away. He didn't want  
  
to hear anything, see anyone, think of anything. This was why he  
  
moved away from the city.  
  
  
  
*Will he be okay? He's not gonna, like, pass out and drown in his  
  
own vomit or anything, right?*  
  
  
  
Gabriel started to straighten indignantly, but caught himself and  
  
forced his body to relax. He wasn't that drunk, really.  
  
  
  
*I'll try to help sober him up. At least that flashback or whatever  
  
it was took the fight out of him.*  
  
  
  
"Don't count on it, Kessler. And don't you fucking pity me,  
  
either." Gabriel called out casually, without looking up from the  
  
fridge. In his mind he received a clear picture of Rob and Lewis  
  
exchanging uneasy glances.  
  
  
  
"I'll go. . ." Lewis was obviously grateful for an excuse to leave.  
  
  
  
"Pick up a pack of Marlboro's, too." The insolent tone was  
  
reminiscent of the angry young man delivered to their doorstep by the  
  
California Youth Authority. Lewis moved quickly to the door, the  
  
nervous stream of thoughts fading the farther away he went, like  
  
whispering in the back of Gabriel's mind. A pressure eased, then,  
  
and he was just so tired. He wouldn't be able to sleep, though. Not  
  
with his "friends" wanting to fix things.  
  
  
  
In the dim light of the living room, Rob seemed larger than life, a  
  
hulking shadow instead of the burning bright god he had always  
  
envied. It was almost pleasant, to think Golden Boy had been dragged  
  
into his dreary world of twilight and debauchery. From the patient,  
  
concerned look, he was waiting for Gabriel to make the first move  
  
now.  
  
  
  
Standing still, listlessly staring into the fridge and basking in the  
  
soothing cool tendrils of air that wrapped around his bare arms and  
  
fingers, Gabriel was content to continue on in silence. A bead of  
  
sweat rolled down his flushed cheek, tickling, and he irritably wiped  
  
it away, unblinking in the harsh yellow light.  
  
  
  
A sudden movement from Kessler, and Gabriel started violently,  
  
rattling the fridge door. Rob froze mid-step and held up his hands  
  
in mock surrender. Gabriel just glowered and slammed the door shut  
  
with a sharp bang. Fuck these games.  
  
  
  
"I'm going to bed. You better not be here when I wake up."  
  
  
  
That said, Gabriel staggered to the hallway, still slightly buzzed  
  
and exhausted, stubbornly trying to walk straight without using the  
  
wall for guidance. He could barely hear the rustle of movement in  
  
the other room, but the creak of sofa springs served notice that Rob  
  
wasn't leaving just yet. Big surprise.  
  
  
  
Not bothering to remove his jeans or t-shirt, he collapsed onto the  
  
bed. His eyes were gritty, painfully dry and burning whenever he  
  
blinked, reminding him that boys don't cry. Gabriel Wolfe did not  
  
cry. Rolling onto his back, he stared up at the spackled ceiling and  
  
wished for the oblivion of sleep. His body was numbed, yet bruised  
  
and throbbing all over, heralding the return of sobriety. Life would  
  
be so much easier if ninety percent of the population was constantly  
  
in a state of alcohol induced comas.  
  
  
  
So he made her cry. That was laughable.  
  
  
  
A faint scent still clung to the sheets, he realized with a jolt. A  
  
musky floral perfume utterly feminine. Lurching to his feet, he  
  
started pulling the offending linen from the bed frame, not caring if  
  
he had to sleep on his bare mattress as long as the reminder went  
  
away. He wondered if the other guy could roll in her scent after she  
  
was gone.  
  
  
  
A vicious yank to the corner of the fitted sheet and his swollen  
  
finger sent a fiery spasm of pain straight from the back of his hand  
  
to the base of his neck, blazing up his arm so swiftly his breath  
  
caught in his throat and he dare not move for fear of setting off  
  
another wave of pain. The throbbing was intense and he determined  
  
that, yes, he was sobering up. Unfortunately.  
  
  
  
"Gabriel? What happened?" Kessler appeared in the doorway and  
  
flicked on the overhead ceiling fan light.  
  
  
  
Cradling his wounded hand to his chest, Gabriel sank to the bed and  
  
gritted his teeth. Yup, that finger was definitely broken and he was  
  
definitely near sober. Damn.  
  
  
  
"Let me see it." Kneeling at his side, Rob gently pulled the injured  
  
limb away from his body. Gabriel put up little resistance, just  
  
wanting to crawl into bed and sleep until this day had never happened.  
  
  
  
"Just relax your hand. Don't let everything tense up." Smooth  
  
fingers explored his skin with clinical detachment. "How long ago  
  
did this happen?"  
  
  
  
Gabriel shrugged, then winced when the shooting pain reared its head  
  
again. Rob slowly worked the tips of his finger over the area in  
  
small circles, and Gabriel felt the familiar lick of golden power,  
  
pure energy, suffusing his skin.  
  
  
  
"Since when could you mend breaks?" His tone was gruff, but the  
  
overture did not go unappreciated.  
  
  
  
"Since when could you hear our private conversations?" Rob smiled,  
  
his entire face animated and alive, to take the sting out of his  
  
question.  
  
  
  
"I guess the web didn't prevent our powers from growing."  
  
  
  
"Apparently not."  
  
  
  
Small talk to take his mind off the pain, but not awkward. Just. . .  
  
there. He and Rob had had many such conversations in the past that  
  
went along these lines, yet Gabriel had never been in contact with  
  
him at the time. Rob must have forgotten the healing link could work  
  
both ways, because suddenly Gabriel was behind his shields.  
  
  
  
A rush of thoughts came to him. Images of the recent past, mostly.  
  
Lewis' nervous chatter in the car, Anna giving him a saddened look of  
  
understanding, the disgust at the state of the apartment, but most of  
  
all, overwhelming disappointment. In his mind, Gabriel was full of  
  
dark shadows and rough patches, but had shone with an innate sense of  
  
honor. The thought of him losing control, trying deliberately to  
  
injure Kait with his power, had shaken Kessler to the very core. But  
  
what caught Gabriel's attention the most was the searing image of  
  
himself resting there. Silky black hair, slate grey eyes, pliant red  
  
lips, surrounded by self assurance and sex appeal, a cynical  
  
confidence in himself no one could shake. He couldn't help  
  
smirking. Unfortunately, when he pushed for more, Rob jerked back  
  
from his half-healed finger and stared at him with a shocked  
  
expression.  
  
  
  
After enduring a moment of wide-eyed silence, Gabriel realized he  
  
wasn't going to say anything. Being bone weary and still a little  
  
fuzzy from the whisky, he decided to let it slide. Later he would  
  
interrogate his friend.  
  
  
  
"Your mojo not enough to finish me off?" He waved his broken finger  
  
while giving a tired leer.  
  
  
  
"Um." Rob swallowed, then reached for his hand again. "Sure. I  
  
can. . . It'll only take a little. . ."  
  
  
  
This time, Rob kept his shields firmly in place. Keeping contact to  
  
a minimum, he averted his eyes and swallowed convulsively. Gabriel  
  
was amused. He had never seen the Golden Boy so disconcerted.  
  
  
  
"There. All done." Dropping his hand like it was a burning hot  
  
coal, Kessler scooted back and stood quickly. There was a faint  
  
flush to his cheeks.  
  
  
  
"I'll let you rest."  
  
  
  
And he was gone. Gabriel stared at the doorway for a moment,  
  
wondering if he was just extremely drunk and having some sort of  
  
hallucination, or if he was actually awake. Flexing his fist, there  
  
was only a slight twinge, so he supposed it was real. Had Kessler  
  
really just run from him? What the fuck?  
  
  
  
With a weary yawn, Gabriel tugged off the remaining sheets and curled  
  
up in the middle of the bed. He'd deal with everything tomorrow.  
  
************  
  
  
  
A loud clang had Gabriel jack-knifing out of bed, heart hammering in  
  
his chest and his vision whiting out in a rush of adrenaline. For a  
  
moment the plain Spartan walls were grey, the late afternoon shadows  
  
on the far wall were bars, and the room seemed so much smaller,  
  
claustrophobic.  
  
  
  
Another bang came from the kitchen, followed by the sound of Lewis  
  
cursing.  
  
  
  
*Problems?* He couldn't hold back the snide remark, wincing as he  
  
heard one of his frying pans hit the floor.  
  
  
  
*Why the hell is everyone else so tall?* Lewis grumbled back.  
  
  
  
Intense pain shot through Gabriel's head and made him want to hold  
  
onto the bed until it stopped spinning. An image of the slight Asian  
  
boy perched unsteadily on top of a rickety kitchen chair, reaching  
  
for a pot on the high shelves above the sink, appeared in his mind.  
  
He tried to laugh, but his throat was dry and all that came out was a  
  
rasping hack.  
  
  
  
*Why the hell did you stop growing at 5' 4"?*  
  
  
  
Lewis ignored him, concentrating on his balancing act.  
  
  
  
Sliding to the edge of the bare mattress after several wary minutes,  
  
Gabriel rested his elbows on his knees with a moan. His head felt  
  
like it had been set out in the sun to shrivel up like an old apple,  
  
wonderfully thudding in time with his heart, and the taste in his  
  
mouth was enough to gag him. Maybe Scotch whisky wasn't the best  
  
choice of drink. *"Water of life," my ass. Who the hell came up  
  
with that one?*  
  
  
  
A feeling of triumph came across the web from Lewis, and Gabriel  
  
groaned again. Every single one of his neural synapses was on fire  
  
and he wanted to slam his head into the wall until he was unconscious  
  
again.  
  
  
  
*Rob left you some vitamins to take with the Gatorade, and I'm making  
  
spaghetti.* The chipper tone made Gabriel snarl, clutching his head  
  
protectively.  
  
  
  
*Fuck food. How about a Bloody Mary?*  
  
  
  
*You gotta eat.* Lewis was surprisingly stern. *Rob gave me a long  
  
ass lecture about dehydration and loss of vitamins, and some more  
  
crap about no alcohol. Under threat of severe pain, I am to feed you  
  
and make sure you drink plenty of water.*  
  
  
  
Gabriel sneered. So Golden Boy sicced Lewis on him and ran. He  
  
couldn't exactly remember what happened before he crashed the night  
  
before, but he had a strange feeling of tension from Lewis and a  
  
vague recollection of Rob healing his hand, which was only a little  
  
sore.  
  
  
  
*Fine.* He slowly stood up, arms slightly out to the sides as the  
  
Mack trucks in his head revved their engines. Barely making it to  
  
the bathroom before succumbing to dry heaves, he leaned against the  
  
side of the tub, sweating and shivering miserably.  
  
  
  
It was his own fault for bingeing like that, but he didn't really  
  
care. Of course, considering how much he had been drinking the past  
  
two weeks, he should be used to the shitty feeling.  
  
  
  
She was gone.  
  
  
  
His stomach clenched. Like a spark to dry timber, the thought  
  
triggered the churning despair he had tried unsuccessfully to  
  
forget. Closing his eyes, he laid his cheek against the cold  
  
porcelain. Ever since he had seen into her mind twelve days ago, he  
  
would have sudden random thoughts that hit him like a slap to the  
  
face. He had lost her, she didn't want to be with him anymore, he  
  
was a freak. . .  
  
  
  
The bathroom door creaked open, but he didn't bother to move.  
  
  
  
"I've got some ibuprofen, too," Lewis whispered, setting the Gatorade  
  
and vitamin B down on the vanity gently. Gabriel roused himself  
  
enough to sit up straight, but Lewis had to help him hold the drink  
  
steady when he almost missed his mouth.  
  
  
  
The pyschokinetic was silent, watching as he swallowed as much as he  
  
could without bringing it back up. Gabriel couldn't decide whether  
  
he was grateful to have a friend there, or humiliated because he had  
  
a friend there. Lewis smiled sadly.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." He offered softly, looking at the sink faucet with great  
  
interest.  
  
  
  
"For what?" Gabriel prompted, annoyed at having to speak.  
  
  
  
"Just barging in here last night. Rob was so pissed. . ." Lewis  
  
trailed off, not wanting to bring up anything unpleasant.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, well, Golden Boy can do no wrong, or at least admit to it.  
  
And I did step outta line with-- Kait." The slight pause before her  
  
name caught in his throat with a familiar ache. He pushed it  
  
away. "I suppose that's why he ran off today?"  
  
  
  
"Um, no." Hedging, Lewis pushed a vitamin around on the vanity with  
  
his nail. "He was interning today. He had to get back, but he said  
  
he'd be over later on."  
  
  
  
"To kick my ass now that I'm sober, no doubt," Gabriel drawled as he  
  
laid his head back again.  
  
  
  
"It's not that, Gabriel." He hesitated, then plunged on. "Rob cares  
  
about you. A lot. You're, like, his best friend, for all that you  
  
two fight. You helped him when he broke up with Anna, and that  
  
hippie chick at the college, and the. . ."  
  
  
  
"The dumbass football player," Gabriel prompted when Lewis faltered.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, him. So, like, you've been really supportive and shit, and he  
  
feels like hell for last night, but Kait was, like, freaking, and you  
  
were all, like, pissy lately and--"  
  
  
  
"And if you say 'like' one more time, I'm going to hurt you." He  
  
interrupted the nervous ramble.  
  
  
  
"Um, yeah." Lewis shifted. "I'm gonna go-- Um, finish dinner."  
  
  
  
"What aren't you telling me, Lewis?" The casual, but dangerous, tone  
  
made the smaller boy falter on his way out.  
  
  
  
"It's nothing, man. None of my business." He quickly escaped.  
  
  
  
Gabriel's head was still throbbing, so he didn't bother to pursue his  
  
friend's cagey attitude any further. With a sigh, he pulled himself  
  
to a near-standing position, alternating between wishing the drugs  
  
would kick in and wishing he were dead. He barely got undressed  
  
without falling over. The squeaking of the bathtub faucet set his  
  
teeth on edge, but the warm water was relaxing.  
  
  
  
"Some days, it just sucks to be alive," he muttered to himself in the  
  
empty bathroom.  
  
  
  
Fifteen minutes later, showered and groomed, he felt more human. The  
  
smell of tomato sauce made his stomach protest a little, but he was  
  
beginning to get his appetite back.  
  
  
  
Having cleared off the mess of bottles and cigarettes on the kitchen  
  
table, Lewis sat peacefully eating his spaghetti and flipping through  
  
the local newspaper. Gabriel dished out a plate of noodles for  
  
himself and joined him at the table.  
  
  
  
"Rob called while you were in the shower," Lewis mentioned in between  
  
bites. "He's on his way up."  
  
  
  
Gabriel nodded, trying to ignore the thoughts of Kaitlyn in Lewis'  
  
mind. Rob had gone back to Anna's and confronted Kait. She had  
  
admitted to seeing someone else, but had been afraid to break things  
  
off with Gabriel. She hadn't wanted to hurt him.  
  
  
  
But she did.  
  
  
  
Suddenly the spaghetti wasn't so palatable anymore. He pushed the  
  
plate away and went to curl up on the couch. His soft cotton pajama  
  
bottoms were comfortable, but it was still unbearably hot despite the  
  
setting sun and ceiling fans. Laying down gingerly, he promised  
  
himself an air conditioner one of these days and drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
He awoke to a pitch black room and dead silence. Reaching out with  
  
his mind, he found Rob sprawled on his bed, fast asleep, and Lewis  
  
down in the parking lot, getting into Rob's car to go home. The  
  
closing of the front door was probably what woke him, and now Gabriel  
  
wasn't tired anymore.  
  
  
  
Fumbling, he found the TV remote and flicked it on, lowering the  
  
volume until it was nearly muted. The digital clock on the VCR read  
  
1:45, so he figured Kessler had gotten back later than expected.  
  
  
  
He felt Rob wake up a little after three, while he was staring  
  
blankly at a static-filled screen. The mind link was oddly reserved,  
  
quiet and guarded, as Rob ventured out into the living room to sit at  
  
the other end of the couch.  
  
  
  
"I think this episode's a re-run," the healer joked half-heartedly  
  
after the awkward moment stretched out farther and farther.  
  
  
  
"Yup."  
  
  
  
Silence reigned once more. A sigh, and Rob shifted his foot, while  
  
Gabriel didn't look away from the screen.  
  
  
  
"You know, this is pretty neurotic."  
  
  
  
Gabriel finally gave him a wry glance. Rob smiled slightly and  
  
shrugged, hair gleaming in the dim electric glow. It was charming,  
  
in a way that set Gabriel's teeth on edge, how he could just tilt his  
  
head and twitch his lips, and all could be forgiven for a moment.  
  
Lewis was right; they were best friends, in that love/hate sort of  
  
way. And at times it was so easy to read each other it scared him.  
  
  
  
"Just go ahead and ask me, Kessler."  
  
  
  
"Ask what?" Rob was stalling for time, obviously having had some  
  
sort of game plan for this chat. Gabriel loved throwing monkey  
  
wrenches at him.  
  
  
  
"Whatever you feel that burning need to know, so quit jerkin' around."  
  
  
  
"Well, I-" Breaking off, Rob frowned and rethought his statement. "I  
  
don't want to piss you off."  
  
  
  
"That's never stopped you before." Gabriel carelessly tossed the  
  
remote on the coffee table with a startling clatter.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, well. . . You were pretty messed up last night." Shifting  
  
uncomfortably, Rob followed Gabriel's lead and concentrated on the  
  
flickering screen.  
  
  
  
It took Gabriel a moment to formulate his response, crossing his arms  
  
across his chest and staring off into space.  
  
  
  
"I started hearing her from blocks away, at first. Then it was about  
  
a mile when I actually tried. I'd hear her thoughts on accident when  
  
she was close-by, and once, I. . ." Gabriel trailed off, frowning  
  
with glimmering eyes. Rob held his breath and the room was in  
  
silence. "She was pulling out of the parking lot, late for class,  
  
not really paying attention. I guess she was looking for a book, or  
  
something. I had just started to get into my car and I was thinking  
  
about later on that night, because we had planned to go to the  
  
movies. I think maybe it happened because I was concentrating on  
  
her, very focused, and she was distracted, but next thing I knew, I  
  
was driving down the highway with Sarah McLachlan blaring and so  
  
disoriented, I went through a red light."  
  
  
  
Pausing, he clenched his teeth. "A car horn snapped me out of it,  
  
and then I was back in my car, in the parking lot, with the keys in  
  
my hand. I tried to reach her through the link, but she blocked me,  
  
then snapped for me to call her later, 'like a normal person.' She  
  
was scared-- hell, I was scared-- and I think that was when she  
  
started pulling away."  
  
  
  
"When did all that happen?" Rob finally spoke up, his tone  
  
contemplative but Gabriel picked up on the slight hurt of not being  
  
told before now.  
  
  
  
"Five months ago." He kept his voice neutral, unemotional.  
  
  
  
"Five months?" Rob was incredulous. "You haven't mentioned a word of  
  
this to any of us for five months?"  
  
  
  
"I didn't exactly understand what happened right then. Besides, what  
  
good would it have done?" Trying hard to sound reasonable and not  
  
defensive, Gabriel slouched farther into the worn sofa. The static  
  
snowflakes had a pattern if you stared hard enough.  
  
  
  
"We might have helped." Not quite shouting, Kessler was  
  
agitated. "After all this time, you still don't think we'd be  
  
there? You know we will. You're just too stubborn and conceited to  
  
admit it."  
  
  
  
"Oh, you're one to talk."  
  
  
  
That drew Rob up short. After a pause, he spoke quietly, "This isn't  
  
about me, Gabriel. It's about you and Kait and what happened  
  
yesterday."  
  
  
  
Gabriel snorted cynically. "First, there is no 'me and Kait'  
  
anymore. Second, what happened yesterday was that I got drunk, said  
  
some things I shouldn't have, threw a beer bottle and punched the  
  
wall. Then Kait ran to you. End of story."  
  
  
  
"No," Rob countered, "not 'End of story.'"  
  
  
  
"Oh, excuse me," Gabriel interrupted. "Then I woke up and dry heaved  
  
my guts inside out. Thanks for reminding me."  
  
  
  
"What are friends for?"  
  
  
  
"Careful, Kessler, that sounded like sarcasm. Wouldn't want to  
  
tarnish your image, eh, Golden Boy?"  
  
  
  
Rob indignantly whipped his head around to retaliate, but paused when  
  
he saw Gabriel's teasing smirk. After a moment, Gabriel genuinely  
  
smiled for the first time in days. The tension in the room eased a  
  
fraction, and Rob slouched down until he was mirroring the  
  
uncomfortable-looking position. Kessler seemed to realize that he  
  
wasn't ready to talk about the day before just yet and let the  
  
subject go. Gabriel was relieved.  
  
  
  
After a subdued interlude, Rob spoke again.  
  
  
  
"Whatever happened to the five of us, Gabe?" At the quizzical look  
  
thrown his way, he expounded. "I mean, we've grown. I know it was  
  
inevitable, but I didn't think we'd grow *apart*. . ."  
  
  
  
"It happens," Gabriel offered, brooding. "You get so close to people  
  
and start to rely on them, expecting them to be there, even when they  
  
can't, and you never stop to think if it's what they want, too. Some  
  
people get frightened by it, others just don't have enough to give.  
  
Either way, you get let down. It's unavoidable."  
  
  
  
Realizing what his friend was implying, Rob lightly punched him on  
  
the arm. "That doesn't mean you should give up entirely. Even if  
  
someone lets you down, there'll always be someone willing to help you  
  
back up."  
  
  
  
The mindlink was shimmering with that same unspoken tension Gabriel  
  
remembered feeling the night before and earlier that day. For once,  
  
he actually looked at Rob, straight in the eyes. There was a world  
  
of feeling in that gaze, so full of promises, and Gabriel was  
  
stunned.  
  
  
  
For the past two weeks, he had been going through his days with only  
  
a bare minimum of effort. He had let himself love Kaitlyn with all  
  
his heart, had for once given himself completely to another person,  
  
and had had that trust betrayed. Yet, if he was honest with himself,  
  
part of him still loved her and it sat in his heart like a bleeding  
  
wound. It would take time to heal.  
  
  
  
But he didn't have to be alone while he waited.  
  
  
  
"Maybe you're right," he finally conceded in a whisper, not wanting  
  
to break the rare harmony between them. Rob had let his hand fall  
  
next to his arm on the couch, warm and solid against his bare skin,  
  
and he found he didn't mind the connection at all.  
  
  
  
"I know I am." The room was dimly lit with the glowing white light  
  
of the television, but he didn't need his vision to know there was a  
  
brilliant smile on Rob's face. He would dissect his feelings when he  
  
was alone and able to think clearly.  
  
  
  
Breaking the piercing scrutiny, Rob cleared his throat and turned to  
  
the staticy screen with a cheeky grin.  
  
  
  
"So, you have any movies worth watching in this hell hole?"  
  
  
  
Gabriel glared without any real malice and proceeded to argue the  
  
artistic merits of the Evil Dead trilogy with his conservative best  
  
friend. He let himself enjoy the moment.  
  
  
  
The rest of the world could wait until later.  
  
  
  
*Finis* 


End file.
